Oh wow I didn’t even realise Olivia Colman and Penfold from Dangermouse were single. But here they are. Sorry, kidding. Hugh is 55, a teacher and musician, and has a part-time job opening ...

This has been what you might call A Week, hasn’t it? Let’s not even go into it, let’s padlock it in the shed, wipe off the workings-out on the whiteboard, Febreze the f•ck out of ...

I kept a journal for a few years, until last summer, when I got sick of the sound of my own voice (or sight of my own handwriting). At the beginning of the year, I started again, but on the Journal ...

Funny old thing, love. We spend our lives looking for it, or avoiding it, or claiming to be incapable of it. It frightens us; it fascinates; it can result in fucking, or crying, or hating, or yearning ...

Oh, the state of everything. Sometimes, as a writer, I am aware of a perceived responsibility to comment on everything all the time, but like everyone else – except columnists getting paid £££ to open ...

Know how I’ve clocked that I have entered my Hyacinth Bucket ‘era’? First thing I did when I saw that knitwear pairing was shift my eyes straight down to their shoes. What footwear would you wear for ...

Is it better to have a terrible time when the sun is shining, or in the driving rain? Does the contrast of hot weather/everything is awful offer a sliver of cheer, or make you resentful that you could ...

As Santa changes the batteries in Rudolph’s nose, and the rest of us ask whichever higher power we believe in if they’re kidding with these temperatures right now, we find ourselves in the middle of ...

Time was, I would review this Blind Date column every week, but nowadays it’s very rare for me to do two weeks in a row. Time gets away from me, my brain doesn’t work on Saturday mornings any more, I ...

Fate has thrown together in the Guardian Blind Date blender of doom Imelda, 56, a local authority officer, and Jayesh, 66, who works in medical devices. Two jobs I want to know absolutely nothing more ...

Years ago, before social media became all jackboots and your nan’s nan posting AI cartoons of kittens asking for money to be be allowed into Cat Heaven, this blog was scarily popular with more readers ...

St Valentine may have packed up his giant helium balloons, petrol station flowers, grotesque life-size teddy bears with matted plush, and cheap massage oil, but your favourite romantic dynamic duo – ...