Area man Wally Dueck, 51, made almost $200,000 selling highly-desirable spots in the shade at the Winnipeg Folk Festival this weekend. “Hey, you look a little sun-stroked there, now, don’t you?” said ...

Thousands of Mennonite woman descended AD Penner Park this afternoon to watch the local EMMC-EMC-MC slo-pitch tournament, but soon found they had to make a few adjustment to their attire. “Oba, I’ve ...

Hours after Winkler’s-own Tristan Peters was named a 2026 American League All-Star, the Chicago White Sox announced they’d be replacing all the other players with good hearty farm boys from southern ...

There were plenty of surprises on the star-studded guest list at Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce’s wedding this week, including Dakota Johnson, Gigi Hadid, and several members of the local Amish ...

Area man Collin Penner has been in Montreal for the jazz fest since Saturday, but has spent the entire time just figuring out how to get the hot water going in his hotel shower. “Every hotel it’s ...

Area man Dan Kehler proudly displayed his AI-generated poster this week, apparently completely oblivious to the fact it’s a total shit show. “Come one come all to the annual church potluck,” said ...

Soccer experts are attributing Paraguay’s shocking victory over Germany last night to the prayers of 100,000 Mennonites in the Chaco. “I can’t think of any other way this could have happened,” said ...

The long anticipated Taco Bell location in Steinbach is finally open, albeit with a brand new logo that some locals are having difficulty deciphering. “I’ll have a Doritos Locos Taco and a Cheesy ...

Moments after Leamington’s own Stephen Eustáquio scored the game-winning goal for Canada this afternoon, the ladies at the local Mennonite church were busy rolling out the dough for the world’s ...

The Winnipeg Jets sent shockwaves across the hockey world this afternoon after selecting Icelandic music superstar Björk in the first round of the draft this year. “We’ve been scouting her for a while ...

Vacationers swimming in the Washington, DC Reflecting Pool vacated really quick this afternoon after someone “Caddyshacked” the pool. “I don’t know who did it or how it happened,” said Gary Kehler, ...

A 300-foot long gash has appeared in the South Central Kildonan MB church baptismal tank this week, which has pastor Dave making accusations of vandalism. “It was the GCers I’m sure,” said Pastor Dave ...